And so on and so forth …..

“I’m sorry for the delay sir.”

“Do you have it?”

“I do.”

The parchment was lain on the table, the dirty boy backed away and stood in silence. The man unrolled the sheet, his eyes scanning it’s surface and it’s knowledge passed into him.

“May I ask what it says sir?”

“You may ask. It’s an old Star Trek joke ….. never mind. There’s a few passages but the one that most concerns us is this. It says simply ‘Drink of my Blood. Eat of my Flesh. Scratch of my Fleas.’ It is titled the ‘Hobo Trinity’”

“Sir? What does it mean?”

“According to the passage that follows Jebus and the Technicolor Winter Coats partook in a ….. well …. a gathering. The feast of the seven dumpsters.”

“That piece of paper speaks of the …. last diving?”

“It does. Before every rise there has to be a fall. Jebus knew this and gathered his most staunch followers and they feasted upon the leftovers of the world. Every bite pained him so, he fed to pass along nourishment to all his followers, though it slowly ate him away he continued until he vanished in thin air. His people never starved. They have awaited his return ever since.”

“I hate to be so obtuse sir but, I still don’t understand, what does it mean?”

“It means the time has come. Gather the six Elders. Billy Bob Bart, Hold the Pickles, Double Beef, Cheese is Extra, Ask for Condiments and Joe. We’re bringing it back, so he will come”

“It?”

“Indeed. He’s come, at the turn of the tide, to save us all. Damn the rich, damn them to hell! Now go and get them!”

The boy ran out of the room and you could hear his footsteps fade into the background. The old man’s face, carved with lines of experience and sorrow and joy scanned the document again.

“I hope they know what to do. And I hope they know how to control …… “It”"

Sighting

Another sighting has come. The city has been awash in miracles lately. A shadowy figure emerged from a KFC dumpster. He yelled into the air, “He who honors the dumpster shall never starve!”

The man runs the back alley’s of fast food feeding his army. He’s known as “Hold the pickles” and is an officer in the army of dirt and light. Jebus needed people he could trust, and if you give a starving man a meal, he’ll follow you to the end of the earth. Give that same man a cause and a reason to pick himself back up and he’ll not only stop bullets he’ll do it with his eyes open.

Catch a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a life. Show a man how to dumpster dive and hobo nation will rise again.

In The Beginning

A clang and a rattle reverberate against the stone walls. Half a newspaper melds into the concrete as the rest flaps in the breeze. Suddenly a ting, then another ….. and then another as the drops of water ping off metal and splush in new forming puddles. A kid dressed in every stitch of clothing he owns meanders into the alley looking for some shelter. He turns an ear towards a garbage bin as a soft muffled cry emanates within. The boy approaches as the murmurs get louder, he reaches up and pushes the lid open.

Saying to himself, “Billy Bob Bart, what the hell is this?”

Billy Bob reaches in and pulls forth a towel with an object inside. Looking to the street at the end of the alley a man dressed in “rich” clothing points towards him as a police officer enters the picture.

A stuttering Billy Bob proclaims, “Holy crap let’s get outta here!”

Triple B as he was later known ran as fast as his legs could carry him, “I won’t ever let anything happen to you, those damn rich, who do they think they are?” As Triple B lost the pursuing police he came upon a tent city. Hobo Nation laid before him, not smelling too badly from the freshly fallen rain. A woman approached seeing the bundle in his arms.

“Whatcha got there kid?”

“A baby, I found him ….. in a dumpster. I guess ….. he’s a ….. dumpster baby?”

“You can’t call him that, he needs a proper name, such a cute lil thing. You found him ….. You name him.”

Billy Bob turned for a moment thinking of a proper name, and thought he saw the same policeman that was chasing him, in a split second he exclaimed one word before realizing it was just a hobo in a policeman’s uniform, the word he said stuck …… “Jebus!”

And it has come to pass ….

There are days in one’s life where things change ….. You may be unsure of where it will take you in life but you look back and know without a shadow of a doubt that it was monumental. I came across some words this evening that stirred within me emotions I had never felt before, a new spirit raised within me and I feel the need to share it with all of you. Here is the story as it was told to me. As I read more about it I will share the new teachings and hopefully enlighten you as I have been.

In the beginning ….. The story of Jebus ….. It’s length is short, but it’s meanings deep. Such a tale will live on, and future writings will become part of his lexicon ….. In the words of his people, not my own …..

There once was a Hobo who led a mighty crusade in the “Hobo Wars” which pitted the Hobo Nation against the wealthy.

Living in a two story box on 4th street. Jebus fought. With him Prophet Billy Bob Bart laid waste to the evil “rich” but was tragically slain fighting alongside Jebus. But the crusades were won. And their was much rejoicing. To this day Jebus lives on the moon trying to find a cure for cancer.

Have sweeter words ever been written? Can you find a cause greater than this? Can you not bare arms and fight at the mere mention of his name? There was a time, a dark time ….. a hard time in the BJ’s (Before Jebus) and his wealth of knowledge brought about a new age. I will enjoy teaching you about the BJ’s, come …… Travel the path of Jebus with us ….. You won’t be disappoointed!

Textings Of The Week

So I get some text messages from friends that are too priceless to keep to myself. Here’s part of a conversation with my best friend of the past 20 years ….. Enjoy.

Dude, after all the years of touring and sharing hotel rooms with strangers this bar none is the weirdest night. Get me out of here!

We are sharing a room with some of Jodies family. The lady in the bed next to us snores like Nikki Parasite.

While her husband is sleep talking about how much she likes big cock in her tight pussy. This is fucked up!

Not only does she snore like a friggin chainsaw she moans out of the blue. And says ungh ungh like meaning “no”. Unreal man.